haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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