i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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