I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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