i will never coherently bang her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
