that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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