i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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