Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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