Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
