We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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