I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
