I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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