I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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