Ambien. No doubt about it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
