a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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