Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize