I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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