your room smells of hookers.
And success
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
