This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
