I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
