You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
