Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
