Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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