And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The air taste purple.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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