Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
