The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
