Just cropdusted the office
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
