Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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