belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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