I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize