I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
