Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
