so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
