you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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