I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize