Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
...so i touched it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
