have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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