If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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