Whod you bang
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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