Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize