I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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