So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
