Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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