I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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