Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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