ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
