Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
