Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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