What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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