I've blown a few things in my day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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