marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize