We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
COCAINE IS GR8
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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