so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
