there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
