ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
