Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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