I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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