Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
