we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
