Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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